Broken Hero
by Brown-eyedFiction
Summary: Newly Remastered, with more to come! It's a heart wrenching story, depicting O'Connell in his darkest hour. Though Evelyn is alive, the guilt has built up inside of our hero, turning him vulnerable for the first time. Now only Evelyn can save him...
1. One

Hey all! I'm back!

Okay, I love this story so much, but after reading through it, I decided to revamp and continue it. I went through all four chapters and fixed any errors in grammar or structure, and I added a few new things to make it all flow better. All and all it's still the same concept and story, but as I've grown more as a writer I felt a nice kick in the right direction would help this one out. I hope to post the next chapter soon. Look for it and enjoy!

Brown-eyedFiction

The pitch-black sky rumbled above him, producing thunder and frightening sporadic flashes of lightning. What was left of the extraordinary storm was slowly dissipating over the horizon, though it refused to go out peacefully. The air around him was searing and desiccated, the heat of the desert scorching what little hydration he had left, leaving no room for any extra boost of energy that would have surely made this call to action so much simpler.

Somewhere deep within the back of his mind he pleaded to whatever God existed that Evelyn and her brother were in the process of heading towards the pyramid, only steps behind him. Desperately he wanted to look back and assure himself of this, but the time was not his to take.

A pained groan echoed beside him, and in result, his steps somewhat decreased in speed as his young partner faltered and tripped along the broken pathway. O'Connell glanced downward, and in that one second that passed between them, the father knew that the life of his son was draining away with paling skin and weakening dexterity. Without thinking twice, the former soldier pulled the small boy off his feet and found that with Alex in his arms he was able to intensify his own speed greatly. Pressing on, he pushed aside the intruding branches and vines of plant life until at long last the golden spectacle came into focus. There was still a light at the end of the tunnel, if only he could get to it in time.

"Dad…" Alex whimpered, "The bracelet."

The tiny voice was pleading with his father, and it was a cry that O'Connell was willing to adhere to, no matter what the cost. His lungs felt as though they would explode with such continuous effort, but the pain was ignored as he stumbled up the stone stairway. Hitting the final step he immediately pushed off, allowing the pair of them to sail through the golden doors in a leap of pure faith. In mid-air, Rick quickly spun so that it would be his own back that would hit the inner workings of the structure first. He was glad he did; instantly the breath was forced from his lungs as the pair of them made a harsh impact with stone and sand.

The world remained at a standstill for a few heavenly seconds, and O'Connell quickly set to gain his bearings with a few moments of catching his breath. Meanwhile, Alex slid from his father's stomach onto the ground beside him, his arm wiggling free from a tortured hold he had no control over. The boy exhaled and O'Connell found focus once more. He leaned upward from his back, studying his son for any abnormalities. Thankfully he found nothing more than an out of breath little boy who was smiling up at him in a mischievous sort of fashion. Damn that kid was so like his mother.

He never remembered the process of breathing being so difficult before, but it still didn't deter him from performing the action in a true Rick O'Connell fashion, "You know, it's not…easy being…a dad."

"Yeah…" Alex agreed, "But you do it real good."

"Thanks."

The sounds of thunder and the dim night atmosphere had evaporated completely now, leaving only the sun shining down on the warming desert sands.

_Click._

The pair looked downward at Alex's wrist, watching as the evil golden latch unlocked and fell away from his skin. Suddenly renewed in energy, Alex sat up and chucked the thing as far as he could, not even bothering to watch where it landed. He then fell beside Rick once more, sighing in relief. His arm fell across Rick stomach and the child's head snuggled deeply into his father's side. O'Connell could only wrap his arms around the eight year old and let his head fall backward in mock defeat.

Seconds passed and distantly he could hear two pairs of footsteps closing in on them. It was Evie and Jonathan; he knew it, just as he knew they were probably frantic with worry. The husband in him warned that he should inform Alex's mother they'd made it and that they were still alive; but the exhausted man in him wasn't ready to give up these few precious moments of immobility.

"_Uh!"_

O'Connell felt his head snap up at a familiar voice crying out in alarm. His eyes narrowed in focus at a figure, Evelyn, hunched over slightly, her hands placed over her stomach. He could see blood dyeing her fingers; he could see a dagger… his heart stopped.

"_NO!"_

And then he was on his feet, running frantically towards her. He ignored Jonathan's cry as the Brit was thrown against one of the golden dogs; ignored Anak-sunamun as she jerked the small coated dagger from Evelyn's abdomen. The priest's mistress shot Evie a smirk of satisfaction and then simply chose to walk off, leaving the dripping dagger to dribble blood on the russet sands at her feet.

Everything seemed to be going in slow motion from that point on. O'Connell watched as Evelyn turned to watch the woman leave… and then her eyes landed on her husband. She opened her mouth, as if to speak, but instead she fell to her knees, still clutching on to her stomach. She then tumbled backwards, though she refused to take her gaze from him. The warm sky above vanished, and even the pyramid and oasis disappeared from behind him.

"_Evelyn!"_ he yelled, looking at her once more as the air around them became dark and desolate. The cries of Alex and Jonathan faded leaving only O'Connell running aimlessly toward the dying image of his wife, lying in a pool of her own shimmering blood. He kept calling to her and he kept running, but he'd nonetheless was failing to reach her.

"_R-Ri…"_ her lip trembled as she opened her hand to him, her arm outstretched from her position on the ground. _"D-Don't leave me…"_

"_Evelyn!"_ _No, please…_ he pleaded,_ don't take her away… not again…_

Her eyes were fluttering now, telling him she was fighting for her life and losing. Her voice was so far away, but her words were fierce and sent tremors throughout the course of his body.

"_Why d-didn't you…s-save me?"_

Rick could feel tears traveling down his cheeks._ "No, Evelyn!"_

He watched in horror as her trembling hand fell to the ground and became still. Her eyes remained open, her expression haunting, staring at him in anguish and suffering.

"_Evelyn! EVELYN!"_

He suddenly felt himself falling… falling until…

_Thud._ He landed unkindly on the ground below.

The white hot of the world dissipated until his eyes were able to focus. He was on a wooden floor, enclosed in the pitch black of nightfall. O'Connell groaned, sliding his hands up beside his shoulders. He pushed himself up and looked from where he'd fallen.

It was a bed. He had fallen out of bed…so that meant…

_It was a dream._

He got up into a sitting position and rubbed his temples. No doubt landing face first on the floor would leave him with a bruise on the only part of him that hadn't been injured: his head.

He got to his feet, using the footboard post to gain his balance before falling to a sitting position on the bed. His hands traveled to his side where a fresh set of bandages were placed. He could tell they were new, because they itched like hell.

His hand continued its journey down to his thigh, where a much larger bruise had developed, so sensitive that Rick couldn't even touch it without groaning in pain. His hand jumped to his left shoulder and clutched onto it. It felt like it had been dislocated, but more than likely he had just pulled a muscle. He rolled it trying to loosen the tenseness that had developed.

After a few moments, his hands fell at his side, as he tried to figure out just where he was. He stood once again, and walked over the bedside table and the faint glow of an oil lamp flickering against the vast darkness of the room. Leaning over the light, he spotted a ratted section of thick paper set underneath the lamp's base. It was old, disheveled and had a slight tear in the top left corner. A map?

It was dotted in lines and circles, and names were scattered about it. _The Jordan River… Karnack…Philae…_ and there was a freshly written name just south of the _Jordan_. Someone had written _Ahm Shere_.

Suddenly it hit him. He looked upward at the ceiling of the room he was in and noticed it too was wooden, the walls, the ceiling, and the floor, all of it was timber.

He was in the dirigible. Specifically, O'Connell was in the hull of the dirigible.

His thoughts gathered and memories struck at him like cold spikes digging into his skin. The golden pyramid…the Scorpion King…Imhotep… all of it came back to him in a wave that overtook his mind and shattered the remnants of his unconscious, sleepy mind.

Nothing stood out more though, than his wife. The events of his dream were in actuality a truth to him, though the dream itself however, was much more morbid that the events of real life. Evelyn _had_ died in his arms, and she'd told him that she loved him.

Rick felt himself lean against the wall. After what he would no doubt say was his worst moment in life, there had been a miracle. His son, like his father had done so many times before, had played the part of God, and by use of the Book of The Dead had brought Evelyn back to life. What angered O'Connell most was that while her husband had gone off to avenge her life, Alex had come with an idea that Rick himself had never considered. While O'Connell dealt with his anger and pain in a more destructive way, little Alex had done something productive. Thanks to Alex, she was alive, and Rick O'Connell had been no _part_ of that.

He abruptly punched the wall, his eyes fierce with anger as tiny splinters of wood cracked under the pressure. Droplets of blood ran through his fist and hit the floor silently. He stayed there for a moment, empty thoughts flashing through him, before he pulled his hand away, looking at the crimson mess he'd made of his hand. It reminded him of her blood, of her shaking under his fingertips as her life was slowly ending right in front of him. His mind clouded and the image of her holding her abdomen in silent agony, tortured him to no end.

Her words echoed in his mind, haunting his soul; his very being, "_Don't leave me…"_

Rick felt himself collapsing onto the floor once more, covering his head, closing his eyes to make it go away. But it wouldn't, and maybe it never would.

_No, it's not real, it's not her…_.

"_You let me die…"_ the voice cried out in censure, _"You gave up on me!"_

"_No!"_ he shouted back. But as her voice was repetitive in his head, he sunk closer to the ground. "Evie, please…"

"_I thought you loved me…"_ she spoke with such agony in her voice that his chest was tearing in two. O'Connell was now on his knees. He shook violently, his throat becoming hoarse and his head throbbing against his skull. He couldn't take anymore…it was too much… the guilt was too much for him to bear any longer.

He then slowly got to his feet, and then forcibly carried himself up the stairs that would lead him to the upper level of the dirigible.

_He had to find her…_

_~BEF_


	2. Two

O'Connell pushed aside the door and stepped out into the cool air feeling the frost of dessert night wash over him. He was met with the view of an endless sea of stars and the large half moon off to the east. Its light was eerie, casting bleak shadows across the figures who slumbered silently. Glancing off into the distance, Rick realized that the large boat had been "parked" for the night. Apparently Izzy was just as exhausted as the rest of them.

Rick spotted Jonathan first, slightly snoring, lying as close to the fire pit as the man could get without catching a few lit embers. The large diamond was wrapped in one arm and a half snoring Alex was under the other.

O'Connell's eyes lingered on his son for a moment and his heart ached inside his chest. Alex was filthy from head to toe, and a few bumps and bruises peeked from under his matted and stained polo shirt and cargo shorts. His hair was a mess, sprawled out in spiky clumps, and each time he snuggled into his uncle, there was a small patter of sand raining on the hardwood floor.

Rick took a step toward his brother-in-law, glancing around for any signs of his wife. When he realized she wasn't anywhere to be found, he turned his attention back to Jonathan. He lightly shook the man, in hopes that doing so wouldn't wake Alex.

The Brit jumped up suddenly, "Wha-? I _say_, what's going on?"

Rick winced as Alex groaned, but appeared to only roll over.

"Jonathan." he spoke finally, causing the man to squint at him. Jonathan's gaze was distant, the sudden pull from his sleep making him groggy and unfocused. His eyes traveled around the dirigible and then finally landed on O'Connell. He smirked.

"Home already?" he gave a goofy smile.

"Where's Evie?" Rick asked, ignoring the previous question. His voice lowered, and his brief second of looking away from John probably had condemned him, "I need to talk to her."

Jonathan _had_ opened his mouth to answer on his brother-in-law's question, but his jaw clicked shut on the second statement. The grogginess seemed to vanish instantly. "I don't like that tone of voice, old boy."

O'Connell sighed. "Just tell me where she went."

Jonathan seemed hesitant at first but then shook his head. He ushered behind him, "I do believe I overheard her muttering something or other about needing a wash. When she saw that diminutive oasis she insisted that we set up camp."

"Yeah, that sounds like Evie," O'Connell mumbled to himself. He turned to leave, but his feet remained stationary. He hesitantly turned back, glancing down at Alex once more.

Jonathan looked from Rick to the lad, "He's fine and dandy, old boy; just thrown for a bit a loop. I'm quite positive it's nothing a first-class night's rest won't alleviate."

Rick felt his head nodding. Without another word, he turned to go and search for his wife.

The small oasis John had indicated was a beautiful little sanctuary, the only noise one would hear being the peaceful sounds of nature. Though not as large and vast as _Ahm Shere_, the place held its own against the infinite sand dunes of the Egyptian desert. Shading palm trees dropped the temperature of the area by almost ten degrees, and perhaps there was another five degrees decrease due to the pool in the center of it all.

More than likely, this is where he would find Evelyn.

He pushed aside the green branches and slightly sunk into the damp sand with each passing step. Suddenly chilled, he rubbed his hands together to keep warm and pressed onward to the miniature pool. The water was lucid enough that he could see a few small fish swimming peacefully, and the bulky trees and broad bushes left the pond in a discrete area. It was a high-quality choice for a person to bathe in, considering the other option was to not bathe at all.

A light humming caught O'Connell by surprise and his eyes panned over the surface of the water. A distinct outline was halfway submerged in the calm waters about twenty yards away. Evelyn's body stood out in the moonlight, the light glow making her skin sparkle as it reflected across the water droplets on her nude figure.

Her hair clung to her back, obviously freshly shampooed for it fashioned an almost ghostly white highlight atop her scalp. She was coated from her neck down to her belly button in suds, but the bubbles were certainly not enough to hide the more _appealing_ features.

O'Connell just stood and stared at what he thought was a dream. She wasn't Evelyn O'Connell, she was a little water nymph; a fairy peacefully playing by moonlight.

He continued to watch her as she scooped up a handful of water and poured it down her front side letting the suds and bubbles go with it. He heard her sigh contently and continue the process of rinsing herself until only her skin was left. His eyes somewhat glazed over and then he wasn't so cold anymore. Somewhere deep inside him a hunger growled and tightened every part of him.

He could have gazed at her until the end of time and it wouldn't have been sufficient. Forever itself would not be long enough.

When his vision snapped abruptly, he never really saw it coming. Suddenly his thoughts reverted back to the dream, and the voice of Evelyn inside his head was blaming him, cursing at him, and shouting at him all over again. He could have killed himself for being so greedy towards her. To think he was actually picturing the two of them bathing together… What was he, some kind of wound up toy that sprung into action at the sight of his luscious enigma of a wife? Had he no self control? Sadly the answer to that question was a resounding yes.

He knew what he had to do, however the thought of ruining her peaceful evening gave him doubts. He considered waiting until morning to explain, but even _that_ wasn't a possibility. She would return from her bath only to crawl in bed with him…

If he made some sort of noise, he hadn't heard it himself. Whether the source was or wasn't him didn't seem to matter though, because Evelyn had heard something none the less. She stopped in mid-motion and turned her body so that he got the full view of her. Rick felt the breath catch in his throat as her chocolate eyes landed on his.

Evelyn's eyes were slightly wide in surprise, but that effect was misplaced in an instant. Her eyes seemed to glaze over and her mouth slowly closed, evolving into a knowing smile.

He knew that look; he had received it the night of their honeymoon multiple times. Over the past seven or eight years of marriage, this _particular_ smile was soon followed by O'Connell carrying her up the grand staircase of their home and eagerly into their master bedroom.

"It's just an oasis… _darling_." Her smile widened, exposing her beautiful teeth.

O'Connell didn't respond; he just continued to watch her intently as though she would disappear into the cloud of aurora that surrounded her. He was spellbound, and there wasn't a damn thing he could do about it.

His lack of a response caused her face to falter slightly and she leisurely started towards him. When she got close enough to grab his hand, she gave it a slight tug, welcoming him in with her. He tried to refuse the astonishing offer, but Evelyn was too persistent. In a matter of moments, he also was up to his waste in water. The bitter cold bit into him and he sucked in a quick and pained breath as sore muscles protested. Evelyn giggled and moved closer to him.

"It's not so bad, you just have to get used to it."

He looked down at her once more, the detailed groves in her exposed figure even more enhanced at the proximity. Evelyn knew he was staring, and she didn't seem to mind in the least. Her control over his thoughts actually gave her a bold confidence.

She stepped toward him, running a hand from his lower stomach all the way to the brown suspender straps on his shoulders. Lingering there for a moment, her hand slid underneath the belt like material and slightly pulled on them until they both fell off his shoulders.

She slowly pushed her mouth into the nape of his neck and gave it a longing kiss as a distraction. Her fingers then moved downward from his shoulders, closing in on the buttons of his shirt. One by one they were undone, until she was able to pull off his shirt all together and cleverly toss it behind her. Evelyn continued to kiss his along the strong structures of his neck and her fingertips grazed his torso soothingly, carefully noting the placement and sensitivity of what lay under those bandages.

He needed to stop her; this wasn't right. He tried to get his bearings, tried to bring the focus back around, but even he wasn't that good. Under normal circumstances he would have easily given in to the sweet surrender of her. But he couldn't this time. This time was different because this time _had _to be different.

"Evelyn, honey…" he murmured, closing his eyes. His voice had dropped a few decibels, but that was no surprise.

She started humming again, her voice soft and sweet as always.

She was grinning victoriously as her hands glided up and slipped around his neck, and with a quick tug the gap between their bodies was no more. Every curve, every ounce of her soft skin was against him now, and the feeling almost undid him entirely.

Evelyn tilted her head upward as a content sigh of pleasure escaped her lips. Her thigh lightly grazed across his just above his kneecap, and in response he pressed his nose into her hair before allowing a second, more sensual moan to echo across the oasis.

It was so painful for Rick, to have to stop her just when all of it was getting started. If it wasn't the fact that she was forcing her nude body onto him that gave it away, it was most certainly the corporeal noises coming from her throat.

"Evie," his breath was husky now as he finally began trying to gain some control. "Honey…s-stop…"

And regretfully, she did.

She paused and pulled her head back to meet his gaze. Freight and embarrassment settled over her features and she scanned over him to see if she could discover why this moment and the mood of the evening was suddenly shattered in that one word.

O'Connell knew from this point on that the whole thing was going to go downhill. He suddenly wished he hadn't told her to stop, and suddenly wished that he could just kiss her right back and all of this would just disappear. Fate, however, had other ideas.

_~BEF_


	3. Three

Rick felt his head droop forward slightly. The cold he'd somehow eluded in the first moments that he'd laid eyes on her, was now threatening to swallow him whole; the comfortable heat of the moment freezing over leaving him stiff and angry. His eyes hardened, his posture tensed and he felt his own fists ball up out of resentment and frustration.

The water rippled as Evelyn broke the contact between them, his apparent chill eradicating in her direction as well. She partially stepped backward and watched intently as this man, whom she thought to be her husband, transformed into something she'd never witnessed about him. For what seemed like hours, the couple stood in silence contemplating just what had happened between them. Rick contemplated what was to be done next leaving his wife to wonder about the severity of the situation.

He was in the dark. It was at this moment that he would explain everything. He was supposed to clarify the reasoning behind ending her advances and why he found himself unworthy of her concern, her body, and most importantly, her _love_. But the words wouldn't form and the explanation was left unsaid.

His mind then drifted to wondering why Evelyn hadn't spoken yet. It had been a good minute and a half and she hadn't moved. The silence _had_ to be eating up her like it was him. O'Connell could only suspect she was waiting for his explanation. Pressure made a few choice words spill out, words that lacked the thought needed to make this conversation work.

"I-uh…we-we need to…" he broke the eye contact and swallowed loudly.

His wife remained as a statue, watching as he stumbled over what some would consider a simple conversation. Her mouth fell just slightly ajar and her doe eyes studied his face curiously.

A strong electrical current of pain overwhelmed O'Connell's entire body, making him almost sick as she stared at him. Tremors nestled in his stinging chest and in response he took in an unsteady breath. His vision slightly distorted and for a moment he felt as though he were going to pass out right there. He was aghast when a cool bead of water trailed down his scruffy cheek and burrowed into the patch of fuzz on his chin.

_Oh god, he was crying._

"Darling…" Evelyn's voice was timid and frightened all at once as she brought a hand up to his chin to wipe away that stray tear. "Rick, what's going on?"

Her concern was barely audible as O'Connell poured his heart out to keeping himself strong for her. Here she was worrying over him, as she always did, and the only thing he was doing was scaring her more by not responding. The throbbing was intense now, spreading like wildfire through every inch of his body leaving him at a loss. Like his dream, the world around him was becoming dark and cold and it was swallowing him intact.

"_Rick!"_ He heard Evelyn screech frantically as the bridge of his nose collided with her collarbone rather forcefully. Before he could register anything else, his arms firmly grasped around waist and shoulders and pulled her as close as humanly possible. O'Connell's eyes firmly shut as he squeezed her with such force that it took his remaining breath away. He realized that before anything else could come from his mouth he had to hold her once more. He had to fit her into his embrace while he knew she wanted to still be there.

Evelyn stiffened and looked beyond him, trying to comprehend just what the hell was going on. Her eyes were wide as she was practically shoved into his embrace. Her breath was caught in her throat and for a second he believed she too had stopped breathing.

"Evie, I…." his voice was now cracking with each passing word, but it couldn't be helped. His eyes glistened but it was ignored. He wasn't holding anything back, he could only do it for so long, "Honey, I'm _so_ sorry…."

Evelyn tightened under his embrace.

"Losing you was the damned hardest thing I'd ever had to go through…." He slightly sniffled but the words were coming out fully now and he was useless to stop them. "But knowing that I'd have a second chance when I clearly don't deserve it… it's killing me, sweetheart."

O'Connell slightly turned his head so that his nose was buried into the lower part of her neck. The little drops of emotion smeared across her collarbone leaving a trail of sweet salty tears. Evelyn's head tilted upward, a simple sign that she wasn't about to interrupt him. He brushed his lips over the base of her throat while his hands explored the softness of her lower back, tracing faint circles with his index finger. He pleaded with her to understand, to know…

"I love you _so_ much, but that's not enough. I can't continue this for the rest of my life… I can't ignore what went on and-and forget that I did nothing to stop…" He bit back a curse at himself for being unable to come up with the right words. "Evie, I've failed you..." His body shook uncontrollably, as he strained short tremulous breaths. "I'm so… _so_ sorry…" The phrase was repeated over and over again and the tears fell freely with no remorse. He didn't want to hold them back. He didn't want to be strong, he wanted to feel the pain that he knew he deserved, but even _that_ was impossible.

He couldn't take away the hurt. Seeing her fall, watching her die, was a pain that he could never feel. The hurt in her eyes would haunt him until the end of time, and the guilt would forever trouble him.

Acting like the fool he was, he had stormed off, vowing to avenge her. When he should have taken Alex to safety, he instead decided to put his own life in the fate of those awaiting him. He decided to finish what the two of them had started almost ten years ago. Blood was on his mind, _a life for a life. _It would never bring her back, or so he thought at the time, but it would give him some satisfaction knowing that he had finished going through hell and back.

He easily remembered the surreal bliss he'd felt when he saw her alive in the pyramid. She shouted at him, waking him from the pain and thoughts of death that were drowning him.

He remembered exactly how she looked as well. That passionate expression reserved only for the happiness of archeology was in full form as she watched him fight off the two ancient evils. Her bouncing curls danced on her shoulders as she took in the sight of the man she loved, risking his life once again to protect the one's _he _loved. It was then that something, renewed hope perhaps, offered a promise that death wasn't going to take anyone else from him.

The woman before him had seen every known emotion he possessed. For the first time in her life however, she was to take note of a side of O'Connell that not even his own father had witnessed. Evie's husband, the strong force that kept this family alive through all these years, was experiencing a new frightening emotion.

He had been broken.

Rick finally pulled away from her all together as he summed up all of his thoughts into one aching conclusion.

"I… don't deserve you, honey, and I never will."

_~BEF_


	4. Four

Hours…it seemed like hours before any noise echoed in the tiny lagoon. Whispered breathing was silenced by the force that hung over his shoulders, something strong and heavy that ordered him to remain quiet as she hung on his words.

"_I… don't deserve you, Evelyn and I never will."_

The nocturnal animals seemed to have vanished, leaving not even a slight hum of natural clamor. The water had settled; their figures making only ripples as they inhaled and exhaled stealthily… listening, waiting, and deliberating.

Evelyn's shoulders slumped, and her gaze fell to her hands. Bringing them above the surface of the water, she awkwardly twittered her thumbs, a habit formed at a young age. Wet curls fell over her eyes, casting a shadow upon her normally bright features.

"I...I don't..." she was trying to understand him, to make sense of this cloud that had suddenly formed over them. She momentarily tensed, and immediately she raised her head up to stare at him, her eyes cold and angered.

Her gaze was now glued to his, as though she were searching for something that lay hidden there beneath. A spark lay under her pupils, that same determination that he had been, and still was, infatuated with.

"How could you even say something like that?" she finally asked, her voice growing timid with every word spoken. "How could you think…" she trailed off in a sigh, keeping her voice from cracking. Had she had gone further, she might have burst into tears.

Rick just stared as she suddenly latched onto him in a vigorous embrace; her arms pinning his to his sides, her warm body pressing into him forcefully and gripping him with every ounce of strength she had.

"Let me be the first to inform you, Mr. O'Connell, I _am_ alive. And I am alive because of _you_." She snuggled into his bear shoulder, closing her eyes and breathing gently, regaining her composure.

His head fell backward and his eyes scanned over the darkened skies. At a lost he spilled out an argument. "Don't. Alex…he-"

"He brought me back, Rick, something that until death finds me again, I will never understand. Nevertheless, while Alex is the reason I am here, you are the reason I am _alive_. Can't you understand that?"

He wiggled from her grasp, pulling her arms from him and holding them back. His voice was terrified, a fear that she could never understand, a feeling that wouldn't haunt her as it did him. "I…can't, Evie, I just can't. I can't do this now and I may not be able to do it ever again."

She took a step forward reaching to him; however it only resulted in him taking a further step back, away from her. "What are you-?"

"I'm sorry." He started towards the shore line, turning away from her.

"Rick, don't… don't do this." her voice was pleading as she attempted to chase him. The water swished violently as she tried to close the distance. "_Don't leave me..._"

He paused, frozen in his tracks.

With those words his heart was shattered.

Evelyn eyes were streaming with tears; she choked out sobs and cries of agony and pain, altering the pattern of her breathing. Red faced, she brought a hand to her face to wipe away watery tears. Whilst Rick couldn't see her, he heard her shift in the water, "It's because of _this,_ isn't it!?"

His head turned to see that she was looking at a scar on her stomach and he suddenly felt as though he were going to be sick. The length of a dagger; six inches long, a golden hand grip…a vile woman…a quick unexpected thrust…Evelyn crying out and falling to the ground, and a scream from a horrified husband who in mere seconds lost his whole world.

Rick chocked out a brutal sob as once again he relived the images. The pain, the blood, and the fact that he had to watch the very life drain from her while he sat back and could do nothing. He couldn't do it again…he couldn't bear to see her like that ever again.

_That's_ why he had to leave.

"Oh, you _infuriating_ man!" She cried frantically, "Stop thinking you can carry on your own, and believing that you are the only one suffering because of all this!" She had turned defensive again, anger mixing with the growing confusion. "Did you not see Alex? Did you not see _John_?"

He took a breath, "Evelyn-"

"You think it was easy for me, do you? Watching you cry over me, watching Alex and Jonathan suffer while I miserably took what I believed to be my last breath? Damn it, Rick, the one thing I kept thinking about wasn't that I was dying, it was the fact I was never going to see you again. And knowing_ that_ hurt more than the blasted dagger did!"

At this he slowly turned towards her, but still refused to meet her eyes again. Instead he watched as the damp sand settled and his own eyes eventually stared back at him. They were blood shot and glossed, masked behind a strong face and a somber lip.

She slowly placed a hand upon his shoulder, fearful that she may scare him off again.

He didn't brush it off, but his gaze hardened under her touch. "I can't do it again, Evie." He spoke calmer now, "I can't. I can't look at that scar and know that I'm responsible, or continue what we have knowing that one day I'm going to have to watch you die all over again. I can't handle it. I'm-I'm not… strong enough."

Her hand slid from his shoulder, down his arm and into the palm of his hand. She was starting to understand now. She could see that both guilt and weakness had taken over, leaving him in such the state that he was. She felt her own little ping of guilt for it had taken her almost a day to realize that he was in such distress. She probably believed should have seen it and should have anticipated it. She believed his silence was caused by fatigue, physical strain and injury. She probably never suspected that he would be emotionally strained as well.

O'Connell slightly swayed, swishing the water around him. His throbbing head pounded painfully against his temple like an irregular pulsating heartbeat. The physical damage from the past few days was reminding them that it was also as fresh as those emotional pains. Evelyn noted this quickly and in response she gave his hand a tight squeeze and leaned against his shoulder, supporting him completely, "You're stronger than I could ever be Rick, but just this once, let _me_ be strong for _you_. Let me help you."

His head fell atop hers, and ever so slightly, he nodded. Something inside spoke to him, stating that it was a possibility that he-they could get through this and come out the other side.

_~BEF_


End file.
